Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
