I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
