Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
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He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
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I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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