i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
No subtext here. People are naked.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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