I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
