Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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