dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
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