I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
you had me at cake vodka
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
