He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
