This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
