Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Is that strawberry winking at me??
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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