i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
