people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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