He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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