Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
