tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
