Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
