I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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