You work out of a Hotel?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
