Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
