So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize