My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
