my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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