jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
