So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
