better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
