if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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