Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(906): View more from Michigan

Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident

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(310): View more from California

i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?

(203): View more from Connecticut

bc i get to see you. naked.

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(815): View more from Illinois

drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.

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(416): View more from Toronto

Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

We still going to Happy Hour

(201): View more from New Jersey

Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up

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(386): View more from Florida

Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.

(904): View more from Florida

You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.

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(518): View more from New York

he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.

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