Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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