Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
