I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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