Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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