i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize