It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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