she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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