she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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