love makes seman taste better
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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