Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just found puke in my bra..
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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