"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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