i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
