I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
