holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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