I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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