My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
where does the pee come out of this thing
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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