Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
