Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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