Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
