Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
