i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
