This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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