I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
