I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize