I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
