Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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