yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
my liver is dry heaving
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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