The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
