I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
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