Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
