Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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