please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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