I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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